Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How many times in your lifetime do I have to see people resuscitate you?

I am not sure how many times I have to see you being resuscitate?  Why honey, why??? Why do you have blue spells and pass out.  I think either your heart or O2 dropped down to the 20s.  You totally passed out and OMG, a vent floor nurse was using the mask on you to "bag" you while you were totally passed out?  I had to yell at grandma to ask her to get help.  You were laying down unconciously. 

It's really sad.... I feel like I am getting sick, I think it's because I am way, way too tired, on my way here, honestly, I dozed off a few times driving here. 

There are days where I think I can do it... days where I feel crappy.

When I just got here today, you were doing so good.  We took you off your vent and played with you after finish feeding you.   I just don't think I can do this anymore!!!!

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