Friday, January 11, 2013

I survived being gone for 2 days after CCHS!

Thank you God for allowing me to successfully survive 2 days being gone from CCHS!  Yes, I was very anxious, nervous because I have never left you since the day you conceived.  Though, the original plan was, after you are out, mama would travel for work again 6 weeks later.  Of course, life is never as planned, I wish it is, then, things would be more expected and not as scary.  Who knows that 8.5 months is when mama finally got to go back to work.

I know, again like I say, those who wants to judge me, please go ahead and judge me.  Please talk behind my back, saying that I am a bad mom who leaves my kid alone, especially when my baby is a special need baby.  It's so easy talking behind my back.... but it's ok.  Please go on but for me, I am so happy. 

I still remember, 7.5 months ago, after knowing that you have CCHS, Dr Gelfand told me, Malaysia's got to come to me and that it sounded like, if I am lucky, I get to go out of Frisco, at most to Dallas.  It is definitely heart breaking.  It sounds like you will never see your grandfather, you will never have a life!!!  Though, you know mama since you were in mama's tummy, mama stayed strong even though mama gone through a lot when you were in mama's tummy.  Mama traveled for work till mama was 35 weeks, mama was on the plane with your 2 brothers, headed to see your dada at 36 weeks and we came back at close to 37 weeks.  Yes, agree that after being in the NICU, it was a crazy idea but mama wanted to show you that we are both strong people.  We are fighters.... we don't just say we cannot do it and let go.  

Mama want to tell you that, unfortunately, we have CCHS, we will let CCHS delay us but we will NOT let CCHS STOP US from doing whatever we both want!

Ok, mama admit, throughout the day at work, mama was busy watching you on the phone or internet, making sure that you are ok.  Mama saw Miss Cassandra playing with you, Miss Yemi giving you hugs and kisses at night.  Mama feel happy that we have loving nurses like them, so that mama can work peacefully.

Mama didn't get home till 9.30pm, flight was cancelled and had to fight to get a spot on the last flight out.  That use to be mama's past life that mama is reliving, even though Dean and Denny was frustrated but for me, I was enjoying it.... I did not complain one bit, I appreciated it instead :)

Allen allowed mama to go back to work every other week.  That doesn't mean that mama don't love you, in order to have a better life for everyone at home (including you especially), mama will work harder and hopefully will succeed in mama's career as well as business.  I love you sweet Shen Shen, BB and DD!

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