Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Why are some people so inconsiderate and so insensitive?

Well, honestly, it's sad and mama try to shy away from these type of people.  People that are inconsiderate, insensitive.  There were people who asked, what's wrong with you?  Do you have down syndrome but they already saw pictures of you.  Friends that I have not talk to over 15 years would all of the sudden be so caring, asking how's my life where else when everything was ok, they never bother to even say Hi on Facebook but as soon as they hear that Laura had a baby that had to stay in the hospital for months.  Then, they send PM through facebook, talking at first and then indirectly asking about you.  I don't really share much to them, why??? Because I just didn't want them to gossip about me and you behind us.  I am sure, it will be a fun topic when they go out with the girls saying... Ohh... you remember Laura Wan?  Did you know that she recently had a baby and I heard that her baby.... blah blah blah.  That's human.

I seldom go to the normal Facebook page, so many of mama's friends are having babies or had babies, yes, they are so happy to post pics of their normal kid.  Mama is still grieving... yes, even 8 months later, I am still.  I may for the rest of my life, I don't know when, maybe someday I will stop but I am still.  I tend to find myself going to the CCHS page, Texas Mommies of the Miracle page because those are the people who actually shares and understands how I feel.  Even my closest relative won't know how I feel, they don't know that they are being insensitive but it's ok.  I continue to just share their happiness but they don't know that they are hurting me inside.  Had a friend that told me the gender of her baby and was excited, the next sentence is.... and baby is a healthy one.  She obviously did not know how I feel.  Yes, I felt offended.... it was like a smack to the face, showing off that she has a healthy baby growing but guess what?  When you were in mama's tummy, you were as healthy as can be because you were breathing through mama.  You did not have any issues at all, we all didn't know that you had this until 6 weeks later but 30 mins being out, you were already in the NICU.

Though, mama continue to count the blessings, after being in that Facebook group, mama realized how lucky mama is, you are mobile, you don't have a G Tube, yes, you have a trach but we can eventually take that out.  I always tell people, we live by the seconds, we don't know what the next second would be, but it's ok, we live and pass this second.  We can and will have plans but if it's delayed, it's ok, we both know that it won't be stop because we are both fighters!

Anyway... this is you and mama.  Picture of you before mama leaves for the first time to work.  Shen shen and mommy time and camwhores!

Ok... let's be serious!!!

Ok... now... let's act SILLY!!!!  Look at you, how happy you were!

I feel lucky to have this baby in my life :)

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