Monday, April 30, 2012

Your baby is ABNORMAL!

Like I said, I slept pretty much the whole day on Sunday, I was just worn out.  I was expecting to work on April 30th, the last day of the month.  Allen (my boss) jokingly told me that I wasn't supposed to have him before month end and that they still needed my help, so, I didn't dare to tell people at work that I had my baby.  So, I took the opportunity to sleep on Sunday.

I still remember, it was 6+am, Dr Min Zhang walked into the room, he started of with "Something is wrong with your baby!".  Your baby is abnormal.  We extubated him and he did not cry at all, he was just not moving much.  We had to reintubate him again.  Did you take any anti depressions or drugs or anything when you were pregnant?  NO.... of course not.  And then he asked, have you ever heard your baby cry?  I looked at CJ as I was still heavily drugged, and then it strike me that I did hear you cry, just soft, not as loud as your brothers but YES!!!!

As soon as he walked out, things started sinking in and I started crying.  I called my mama immediately and gosh, she couldn't really hear me and thought that I told her, Laynson is gone and he passed on.  She immediately called Loreena, Larrisa and Lionel.  They were all heading to the hospital.  I on the other hand begged the nurse to wheel me to see my baby.  When I got there, I just broke down and cried....  there he was, intubated.

My poor baby had 2 IVs running and all the wires just made me worried.

He laid there, hardly moving much... then, Larissa came in and was crying... told me that she's sorry.  I told her, look at him, holding my finger.  She said... he can still move?  OMG... that's when i got SO MAD!!! I knew that something wasn't right and they got the wrong message.  That's when she told me that mom said that he's gone.  I said NO... NO... my baby is not dead!!!! Can you imagine, that morning someone tells you that your son is abnormal and the next minute, another person is feeling sorry for you telling you that your baby is dead???  Then, Loreena came and also felt sorry for me and I had to explain to her that NO... he's still alive, he's not dead.

After that, I went back to my room and started working on work stuff.  It was month end, I had to work.  It was a long and scary day.

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