Time to go home BUT.... without you.

Everyday in the hospital, I was hoping that you will get better and leave the hospital with me.  The day came but I got the news that you won't be coming home with me.  It's extremely sad.  With your brothers, we were wanting to go home ASAP, by noon, we were already done packing and headed home but with you, we wanted to continue to stay because I know that you won't be coming home with me.

NO.... it's not normal, the right way is for us to go home with our baby.  It's also sad that I have NEVER hold you in my arms.  For 5 days after having you, I still haven't had the chance to hold you.  I pray hard that the day where I can hold you is close.

I cannot help but to cry when I had to leave the hospital without you.

Here is your big brother, kissing you, telling you to get well soon and come home ASAP.

Then, off we go, headed home.  I was crying on my way home, I turn back and looked at the empty infant car seat where you were supposed to be in.